A Parent In Many Ways

Being away from Evan all this time is starting to hit me. Not all at once, but rather in little instances. I'm not sure if it because I miss singing Christmas carols to him, reading a book or just horsing around. But I do miss him; and number two as well. We've never met, but the longing is still there. I miss being a parent. It is hard to be a parent 5000 miles away. Its hard to be a parent 0 miles away. How do parents do it? Is it instinct? Is it love? Is it the basic human desire to bring forth goodness in the world and leave it a better place that the way you found it? I've thought about it many times. God gives us the strength and the wisdom to see that we are not just parents to our children, but also to our community. Mark 13:1-9, the parable of the sower, tells us how the farmer planted his crop in good soil and it produced "a hundred, sixty, thirty times what was sown." Jesus spread the word of God as a farmer spreads seed; some listened and some did not. Those that listened spread the word of God amongst others.

We are sowers too. I had a conversation with one of my soldiers the other night about his future career plans; some included the Army, some plans did not. I gave him advice; some questions that he had to answer; guidance on how he should proceed. Did I know that I was sowing the seed for him to develop, to grow, to be a better member of society; so that he can pass on the knowledge that I passed to him? So that he can pass it onto others who end in the same position he finds himself in now? Is this parenting? Of a 26 year old? Is this mentoring? Is there a difference? Do Holly and I not guide Evan in the same way - especially as he grows out of daipers and begins to think on his own. We frequently tell Evan that he has to make the right decision. He knows that one action will result in reward, while the other will result in discipline. We are ensuring that our seed is sown in good soil and bears fruit. Another Soldier does not want to learn a particular part of her career field, yet we force her to do it. She needs to learn it or she will never grow and be able to manage the people that work under her later. Holly and I force Evan to put his toys away or act a certain way because he must be able to do those things later in life.

I think of these things because I have recently assumed a job that requires me to be more of a leader than ever before. More people are depending on me to guide them in the right way to get the mission accomplished. They look to me to the be the quintessential example of what "right" looks like and to give them the right guidance to be effective. Despite my best efforts to avoid it, my leaders have forced me to accept this new responsibility to make me grow; so that the seed the Army has planted grows forth in good soil and bears fruit a hundred-fold. Do my leaders love me? Do I love my Soldiers? Not in the literal sense; however, we all have a vested interest to ensure that fruit continues to grow for the good of our Army.

Our Chaplain posted Proverb 22:6 during our latest Commander's Update Meeting. The Proverb reads: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he shall not turn from it." Saying this to a bunch of fathers away from their children for a year brought many jeers. Many did not understand, I included, that he wasn't only refering to the children that we miss so much at home, but he was also refering to the "children" that we lead, guide, and mentor here. It took me a while to realize it - but just as my Soldiers need guidance from me and I need guidance from my boss, Evan & baby need it to. I love being a parent. I love being a child. I love the feeling of knowing that I made the world a better place; that the seeds that I sow will grow forth a hundred-fold, whether it be my 2 year old or my 26 year old. I cherish that God has given this to us.

Lord thank you for giving us the ability to affect the lives of others. Grant us the strength to grow our relationships with loved ones so far away for so long of a time. Lord, thank you for making me a parent to so many and for those parents of mine who have made sure the seed that is me was sown in good soil. May my life be for Your glory. Amen.